This Week's Song: The Saddam Rap

A school friend and I wrote this during the first Gulf War in 1991. I remember my inspiration being Mel Brooks' Hitler Rap, but I wish I could be that funny!

It's strange to think that fourteen years later, Saddam is up for trial, his successor is hinting at establishing relations with Israel... and we have seven kids between us.

Who would've imagined?

The Saddam Rap

Hi there people, my name's Saddam,
And I've been told "I'm a really bad man".
The people hate me,
They want my guts,
I tell them "Man, you gotta be nuts!"

A few years ago
I started a war,
The reasons was because
When I looked out my door...

Hey man,
there ain't enough room,
We've gotta blow Iran
As far as the moon.

So I got out my tanks
And I started to fight,
Eight years later,
I finally saw the light.

We were getting nowhere
Incredibly fast,
I was gonna make sure
That Iraq would be the last

To be beat.

Chorus
I'm Saddam
Saddam the maaaaaaan,
Madass
That's what I am.

I'm Saddam
Thank you Ma'am,
Saddam is cool,
Cos he breaks the rules.

Six months ago,
I walked into Kuwait,
And I kicked that Emir
Right outta the state.

"This place is Mine"
I shouted out loud,
"To be my people
You oughta be proud"

"But we don't want you here,
Said the dudes around
You better get your big ass
-Right outta town".

So the U.N. said
"Hey man you ain't cool
We ain't gonna stand
And watch you breaking the rules."

"You better get out
Or your trade will cease
Cos with you in Kuwait,
There'll never be peace."

"You've gotta quit the place
Before January 15,
Cos if you refuse,
We'll send in the Marines."

Chorus

Well I didn't do nothing,
I dug in my troops,
Six months later
Uh oh whoops!

The bombs came flying,
Landed in my house
My air force was useless,
As scared as a mouse.

So I chucked some Scuds
At Israel.
I thought I'd give them,
A taste of Hell.

But the R A F
and the U S A
Blew all my
Bloody scuds away.

I poured some oil
Into the sea,
And now they're really
After me.

The fish and the birds
Want me out,
I s'pose they think
I'm an environmental lout.

Chorus

I don't think I've got
A lot of hope,
Let's face it folks,
I'm even hated by the Pope.

They all want me dead,
My generals too,
I'm in a sticky situation,
Superglue!

I can't back down,
I've left it too late,
To see what I'll do next,
They'll just have to wait.

Baghdad is wrecked,
And so am I,
But I still think
That's a filthy lie!

They think they'll catch me
But they don't know,
I've got nine clones,
I'll never go!

I leave my bunker
By black limousine,
Followed by decoys,
Which one's me?

Chorus 2

I'm Saddam
Yes siree,
Saddam is cool,
Cos he breaks the rules.

I shoot my people,
When they say "no!"
If they resist me,
My fuse will blow.

I bombey Riyadh
And Darhan too,
But their Patriots
Cut my Scuds in two.

My army's starving,
My plane's desert,
I can't forgive them
and it bloody hurts.

My islands that I captured,
Are lost to me.
My navy's been blown
Right outta the sea.

My Revolutionary Guards
Are my men most loyal.
They're the only jerks
Who'll stay of Kuwaity soil.

I know I've lost
But I won't give in.
I took on the world,
How the Hell could I win?

Chorus

I'm Saddam,
Saddam Hussein.
Saddam's the best...

Saddam's insane!!!