Skip to main content

S.T.D

I'm afraid to report that in the last few days, I've have come into contact with an S.T.D. The condition really manifests itself whenever I go to the toilet to do my business. I don't know how to cure this and how long it will take to disappear. The S.T.D is extremely unpleasant and always self evident. What do I do?

Now you might be thinking that I'm confessing to being in possession of a sexually transmitted disease - aren't you? No dear friends, this is much worse.

I'm coming into daily contact with a Shira Trail of Destruction.

This is demonstrated by the soggy toilet rolls that have been rescued in the vain hope they might be salvagable. Forget it. They go straight into the bin. The toilet paper that manages to survives, is really not worth keeping. I won't even tell you where I've found the toilet brush last week.

The Shira Trail of Destruction is slowly wreaking havoc in this household. I really don't know how much longer I can cope with it. We've tried putting a latch on the door, but it is not at all Shira-proof.

Does anyone have an idea of how to deal with this ailment? If only it were as easy as administering a shot of penicillin!

Comments

-move the lastch up a notch - high enough that YOU have to stretch to reach it... Oh, man, I have so been there. Cleaning my house takes an extra hour a day because we had to lock every door in our house... so I that if I see my son walking upstairs, I know the only room he can access is his own.

I had to call a plumber recently to unclog our toilet... it was un-plungeable. THis is what prompted our lock installation. The plumber found it to be un-snakeable. My guess was a toy car. The plumber told me that he would have to remove the toilet from the base, and try to snake it from the other direction... if that didn't work, I would have to buy a new toilet. Luckily, it worked. And the plumber yelled downstairs to me, "Rachael, you were wrong! It's a toy TRUCK!"

Good thing kids are cute!

Popular posts from this blog

Ten Jewberry Muds

To get the full effect, this message should be read out loud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the FarEast Economic Review: Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees." Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service." RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??" G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs." RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?" G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine." RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?" G: "What?" RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?" G: "I don't think so."...

Bye Bye University

I can't quite believe it but today is in fact my last as a student. My course ends when I walk out of school at 13.15 I've now fulfilled the statutory days demanded of me as a student teacher. From Monday, I will be effectively unemployed - until Thursday, so I reckon we'll survive. That's it folks, my course is over. I have yet to hear whether or not I've passed, although between you and me ( shhhh don't tell anyone ) I am now a newly qualified teacher in everything but name. The exam board meets Mid-July to make those all important decisions and that's when I expect to get my congratulatory letter through the post. It's been an interesting year, to say the least. There have been ups and downs although the positive has vastly outweighed the negative. I find standing in a classroom less daunting and if anything, I now have the confidence to teach, which I didn't have when I started. I know I've only been doing this lark since September (and teach...

Magic Moments

At the end of a sunny day, Dana decided to start a water fight. She sprinkled a bit of tap water in my direction. Then her eyes lit up and she ran out of the room. I of course thought nothing of it, until she returned with a filled water pistol! That was it - The race was on to remember where I'd hidden the other three unopened packets. With pistols at the ready, the kids got in on the act and what could have been a ginormous water fight was almost immediately curtailed as Shira did not appreciate being spritzed in the face. The sheer impulsiveness of the moment was Dana all over and it's one of the things that I love so much about her. The pistols have been seized and are ready, waiting for another day when I predict we are all seriously going to have the most amazing and floodworthy water-fight. I can't wait (and neither can the kids).