A pious Jew dies and goes to heaven. G-d greets him at the Pearly Gates.
"Are you hungry, Moishe?" says G-d.
"I could eat," Moishe replies.
So G-d opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it.
While eating this humble meal, Moishe looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, he remains quiet. The next day G-d again invites him to join Him for a meal, herring and rye bread.
Once again, Moishe can see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. Still he says nothing. The following day, mealtime arrives and a can of sardines is opened.
He can't contain himself any longer. Meekly, he says: "G-d, I am grateful to be in heaven with You as a reward for the pious, obedient life I have always led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is canned tuna, sardines, pickled herring and a piece of rye bread, and in the "other place" they eat like emperors and kings! I just don't understand."
G-d sighs. "Let's be honest, Moishe...," He says. "For just two people, does it really pay to cook?"
"Are you hungry, Moishe?" says G-d.
"I could eat," Moishe replies.
So G-d opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it.
While eating this humble meal, Moishe looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, he remains quiet. The next day G-d again invites him to join Him for a meal, herring and rye bread.
Once again, Moishe can see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. Still he says nothing. The following day, mealtime arrives and a can of sardines is opened.
He can't contain himself any longer. Meekly, he says: "G-d, I am grateful to be in heaven with You as a reward for the pious, obedient life I have always led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is canned tuna, sardines, pickled herring and a piece of rye bread, and in the "other place" they eat like emperors and kings! I just don't understand."
G-d sighs. "Let's be honest, Moishe...," He says. "For just two people, does it really pay to cook?"
Comments
But there is one thing I don't "get"... probably due to knowing very little about Judaism. Is G-d, God? If so where is the "o"? And why have I been taught that some peter guy is guarding the gates?
The reason I insert the hyphen is that I was always taught to write His name in that manner, in case the paper I was writing on was thrown out or destroyed and so it would therefore be a desecration of His name. By using the hyphen, I am therefore not writing His full name.
I know this doesn't apply to the internet, but I guess habits are hard to break!