All that you have is your soul (Tracy Chapman).

Saturday 2 July 2005

Some Great Jewish Jokes

Many years ago, when Moshe was a young boy, he found a mezuzah on the wall of a deserted house near his street. As there was still time before he had to get home for his supper, he pulled it off the wall and opened it.

Inside, he found a piece of old paper on which were written the words that he would never forget: "Please help me. I'm being held prisoner in a mezuzah factory."

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There was an advert in the Jewish Examiner that read:
"Wife wanted. Please reply to Box Number 856". Five thousand replies were received, all saying: "You can have mine".
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A German comes to London and stays with Solly and his family. The first morning, they all have breakfast together and eat bagels. The German exclaims "Wow! We don't have bagels like this in Germany." To which Solly stands up and yells "And whose fault is that?"
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And last but not least....
Hymie muttered a few words in the Synagogue and found himself married. A year later, he muttered a few words in his sleep and found himself divorced.
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Have a great week people!

1 comment:

I'm not even supposed to be here today said...

Wow - Im that ignorant?? joke #1 - what is a mezuzah?

I get #2 - but I wouldn't call it a jewish joke!

I'm lost on #3.

I don't think #4 is necessarily Jewish either... but it depends... what did Hymie say?