A little joke to lighten the mood somewhat...
It was bitter cold outside and flu season had kicked in. The Rabbi
was not happy with the constant coughing disturbing his sermons,
so he decided to call on old Abe to help him solve the problem.
Comes the next Saturday morning, the Rabbi gave old Abe a bowl
of cough drops and instructions to give a cough drop to any
congregation member who began coughing.
So following his Rabbi's orders, every time a member coughed,
old Abe walked over and gave them a cough drop.
The Rabbi noticed that each time he did this, the member then
stood up and walked out on the sermon. At the end of the service,
half of the members were gone.
After services the Rabbi calls old Abe at home and asked what he
said to the members that made them leave the building.
Old Abe says, "So vat did I say ? ... All that I said wuz,
'the Rabbi said for cough!'"