All that you have is your soul (Tracy Chapman).

Saturday, 28 January 2006

Lenin In Poland

Some years ago, Leonid Brezhnev wished to commission a portrait to be entitled, "Lenin in Poland," in honour of the fiftieth anniversary of the Russian Revolution. However, Russian painters, being schooled strictly in the realist school, were unable to paint an event which never actually occurred. "Comrade Brezhnev, we would like to do it, but we cannot. It goes against our training," replied each of the many artists approached by Chairman Brezhnev.

Finally, in desperation, Brezhnev was forced to ask the old Jewish painter, Levy. "Of course, I prefer to portray actual events, but I'll do the painting for you, Comrade. It would be my great honour." Levy commenced work on the painting. However, every time Brezhnev visited his studio in an attempt to see the work in progress, Levy rebuffed his efforts, telling him that he never allowed his unfinished works to be viewed.

Finally, the day of the unveiling arrived. Levy stood proudly by the cloth draped over his work. Brezhnev introduced Levy and gestured to his gift to the Russian people on the fiftieth anniversary of the Russian Revolution, a picture commemorating Lenin's historic visit to Poland. Everyone gasped as the cloth was removed to reveal a picture of a man and a woman together in bed.

Brezhnev was stunned. "Who is that man?" he stammered. "Why, that's Trotsky." "And who," Brezhnev inquired, "is that woman?" "That is Lenin's wife, Comrade Brezhnev." "But where is Lenin?" "He's in Poland," Levy explained.

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