All that you have is your soul (Tracy Chapman).

Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Puns

If you, like me, are fond of puns I think you'll enjoy these. If you don't, please stay well clear of these:

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a
rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of maths teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of
himself.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like an orange.

1 comment:

Tense Teacher said...

These are wonderful!