If you, like me, are fond of puns I think you'll enjoy these. If you don't, please stay well clear of these:
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We'll never run out of maths teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like an orange.