All that you have is your soul (Tracy Chapman).

Tuesday, 20 March 2007

The Guns, The Dog And The Navigator

This is apparently a true story, heard on a Wisconsin Radio Station.
You can decide it's veracity, but even if it isn't true, it very much appeals to my sense of humour:

A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly
payments of $560.00).

He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin. It's mid-winter;
and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on
the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR.
They decide they want to make a natural looking open water area for
the ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to float on.

Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck,
is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger
can produce.

So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite
with a short 40 second-fuse.

Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip on the ice
while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming
toast, along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of
action: they light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust,
they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR,
the GUNS, and the DOG...???

Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for
RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it:
the dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs
the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as it
hits the ice.

The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms an d , with veins
in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and
holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently cheered on by his
master, keeps coming.

One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun
is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.
The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on.

Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really
confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have
gone insane.

The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new Navigator.

The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on
the truck touches the dog's rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite
under the truck and takes off after his master.

Then " "" "" "" "" " BOOOOOOOOOOOOM "" "" "" "" "" ! ! ! !

The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake,<>leaving the two idiots standing there with "I can't believe this
just happened" looks on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by
illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he still
had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments.

The dog is okay, doing fine.

No comments: