All that you have is your soul (Tracy Chapman).

Wednesday, 6 June 2007

Fab Beatles Story (And It's True Too)

A judge sentenced a Beatles-loving thief by quoting 42 of the band's song titles in his verdict.

Andrew McCormack, 20, had been asked what sentence he thought he should get for stealing beer, he wrote: "Like The Beetles say, Let it Be."

But he had clearly come up against the wrong man in Montana's Judge Gregory Todd, reports the Daily Mirror.

Judge Todd replied: "'Hey Jude', 'Do You Want to Know a Secret'? The greatest band in history spelled its name B-e-a-t-l-e-s.

"Your response suggests there should be no consequences for your actions and I should 'Let it Be' so you can live in 'Strawberry Fields Forever'.

"Such reasoning is 'Here, There and Everywhere'. It does not require a 'Magical Mystery Tour' of interpretation to know 'The Word' means leave it alone. I trust we can all 'Come Together' on that meaning.

"If I were to overlook your actions I would ignore that 'Day in the Life' on April 21, 2006. That night you said to yourself 'I Feel Fine' while drinking beer. Later, whether you wanted 'Money' or were just trying to 'Act Naturally' you became the 'Fool on the Hill'.

"As 'Mr Moonlight' at 1.30am, you did not 'Think for Yourself' but just focused on 'I, Me, Mine'. 'Because' you didn't ask for 'Help'. 'Wait' for 'Something' else or listen to your conscience saying 'Honey Don't', the victim was later 'Fixing a Hole' in the glass door you broke."

Judge Todd went on: "After you stole the beer you decided it was time to 'Run For Your Life' and 'Carry That Weight'. But the witness said 'Baby it's You', the police said 'I'll Get You' and you had to admit 'You Really Got a Hold on Me'.

"You were not able to 'Get Back' home because of the 'Chains' they put on you. Although you hoped the police would say 'I Don't Want to Spoil the Party' and 'We Can Work it Out', you were in 'Misery' when they said you were a 'Bad Boy'.

"When they took you to jail, you experienced 'Something New' as they said 'Hello Goodbye' and you became a 'Nowhere Man'.

"Later you may have said 'I'll Cry Instead'. Now you are saying 'Let it Be' instead of 'I'm a Loser'. As a result of your 'Hard Day's Night' you're looking at a 'Ticket to Ride' that 'Long and Winding Road' to prison.

"Hopefully you can say both now and 'When I'm 64' that 'I Should Have Known Better'."

McCormack got probation, a community service order and a fine.


(c) Ananova

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