I'm worn out.
The stress of whether or not I get a new job is wearing me down, leading me to the decision last night, that I would not leave my current school unless I had another one to go to. I know I wrote a little while ago that I was quitting whatever happened, but to be honest, I've been in that sort of situation before and the stress of wondering whether or not I'll have a job to go to, is just too much to bear. It is practically ripping me apart.
So, I've decided that the job hunt will go on, but not on the previous terms. I suppose my concern (and insecurity) comes from the lack of comeback from one of the schools I gave my application into last week. I know the closing date was only Monday, but I hadn't heard anything and so I called up this morning and was told that if I am offered an interview, I will be informed by next Friday at the earliest.
The realisation that I now don't have to resign by 31st May unless I have a new job in hand, has been most cathartic.
Life is just too damn short to worry about unknowns and I'm too bloody old to be getting myself into the same kind of mess that I went through five years ago.
I signed on to welfare once - and I will do anything to avoid going down that devastating road again.