The Scribbler

I recently purchased a DVD box set of the Spaghetti Westerns, so I thought it would be an interesting idea to look back over my last twelve months and recall the events that were good, bad and ahem....ugly! The Good Watching Michal (6) teach herself to read over the summer, to the extent that by the end of the year, she is at the same level as her seven-and-a-half year old sister. Celebrating ten years of marriage - and being truly amazed that my wife has still managed to stick by me. G-d the woman is courageous. Successfully completing my NQT qualification and becoming a "real" teacher. The trip to Liverpool (possibly the highlight of the year). Finally buying that laptop I'd promised myself. Celebrating my parents' 45th anniversary. Helping my mother choose a new Tom Tom satellite navigation system and knowing that as a result, her arguments with my dad will have immediately halved. Getting a nice pay-out from the insurance company after one of our cars was written-...

I'm in a meditative mood. I'm thinking about the things in life that I believe in one hundred percent. One of these is my rock-solid belief in the existence of G-d and His constant presence in the world. Another is the willing acceptance of the tenets of Judaism, through which I choose to live my life. Aside from that, there's not much else I can say that I truly believe in to the same extent (and I'm not talking about relationships with family etc). With all this in mind, I will add one more belief - the execution of Saddam Hussein was something that had to happen. Why do I add this ugly event to such an exclusive list? Let's start from the premise (as I do) that Saddam Hussein was one of the few people on earth who could be termed as being genuinly evil. He is directly responsible for the deaths of thousands of people, not through neglect or misadventure, but in the full knowledge that, what he was doing was, in his twisted mind, the absolutely correct course of ...

My dad and I took three of the girls, minus Dassi to see this movie. The parts that I did see (when I wasn't ferrying either Michal or Shira to the toilet) were pretty impressive. The singing and dancing scenes were sensational and the bit where they fall off the top of an ice shelf and free-fall into the void below, was truly eye-popping. In the world of CGI animation, a new standard has been set because this film was visually breathtaking. However, proceedings were seriously let down by a derivative story-line and rather awkward "message" (for a kids movie) about human interference in the penguins' Eco-system. I think my kids were too young to really appreciate the flick and they didn't get that much out of it. Parents of young children beware! I recommend the movie, if only for the animation, soundtrack and astounding choreography. Shame about the 'plot' though. Teacher's Rating ***

I can relate to this. Can you?

I booked tickets on the phone for a friend and myself. I needn't have bothered as we were the only ones in the cinema. I don't think I've ever been privy to a private viewing before, but it was certainly an experience. What's more, if you're going to have a screen to yourself, it might as well be for a movie that reeks of quality and Flags of Our Fathers is such a film. Watching this movie, one couldn't ignore the input of Steven Spielberg, who was joint producer. At times, this seemed like a parallel version of Saving Private Ryan , from the similarly staged beach scenes (minus the startling sound effects that made the former movie so memorable) to the deployment of washed out colours. The cast is uniformly superb, in particular Ryan Philippe, whom I hadn't rated too highly previously. He went beyond the 'pretty boy' image and delivered an achingly believable performance as John Bradley, through whose eyes we witness the soaring highs and plunging ...

Remember about that party I told you about two posts ago? Well, before the mother of all headaches burst its way into my cerebellum, I was having a really interesting conversation with an expatriate Iraqi Jew, who has been in the UK for seven years. He is convinced that the real reason why the Americans and British are staying in Iraq, is to use the country as a launch pad for an attack on the Iranian nuclear facilities. I was thinking about this and came to the conclusion that he might have a point. It would certainly make a lot of sense, granted that both countries (and most of the rest of the world, including quite a few Sunni Arab dictatorships) have no interest whatsoever in seeing Shiite Iran go nuclear. In fact, the recent declaration by Egypt et al that they want to acquire such weapons (presumably to counter the Iranian threat) seems all the more understandable, granted the danger that a nuclear Iran would pose to the region - and for that matter, the rest of the world. I th...

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I came back this afternoon from a friend's baby celebration with a thumping headache. I don't know where it came from but after taking some paracetamol and sleeping it off, it returned to it's hiding place. This is all very well and good, but it's now 00:30 and I'm wide awake and raring to go. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to spend the rest of night peering through the garden window looking for Santa. And a Merry Xmas to all of you who celebrate!

This afternoon, I asked Shira (aged three) where her bottom was and she replied: "Here it is, behind me!"

It has been a very special night for Michal as she attended her very first sleepover (aside from staying at grandparents, which doesn’t really count). I can’t wait to see her enthusiastic response when I pick her up! It’s definitely moments like these that I thank G-d I’ve been given the gift of children.

School's finished for 2006 - yay. It was so much fun standing around the kitchen this morning at 7.30 in my dressing gown, knowing that I didn't have to rush out into the dark, foggy morning (second day of fog - what's going on here?) within the next fifteen minutes. I'm looking forward to two weeks of school-free tension. Instead I'll have to keep the kids from killing one another, keep the wife sweet, make sure the parents are happy. Then again, I've been told that going out into the brisk (foggy) morning air is also quite therapeutic...

Ahmadinejad said yesterday: "Today, it is the United States, Britain and the Zionist regime which are doomed to disappear as they have moved far away from the teachings of God." I can't tell you how much better that makes me feel. If his understanding of the 'teachings of G-d' are that you should build nuclear weapons, actively support terrorism and deny the Holocaust, I'm more than happy to subscribe to any religion aside from his. However, at least we Zionists are now in good company. People of the US and UK - welcome to our club!

I have never rated Jimmy Carter very highly. The truth is that Israel and Egypt were itching to make peace in 1978 and this would have happened irrespective of whom was sitting in The White House. The fact that it happened to be Jimmy Carter is coicidental. Remember that he came into Office after "battling" against Gerald Ford, a lame duck president if there ever was one. Hell, I could have even beaten Ford! Were it not for Watergate, Carter would still be growing his peanuts. I don't like the man, never have. His one term of office is not particularly memorable and the debacle of the kidnapping of Americans in Iran, justifiably brought his pathetic political career to a grinding halt. Recently however, he has outdone himself in showing what a sad old fool he is by bringing out a book with the 'enchanting' title: Palestine, Peace Not Apartheid . In this useless tome, he blasts Israel (excuse the pun) for her "shameful" treatment of the Palestinians. I me...

So the Palestinians are going around killing each other instead of the Jews. Am I bothered? Not one tiny bit. In fact, I give them my blessings to continue for as long they like.

My good friend, Larrythelamb very kindly gave me a ticket to the Quo Concert at Wembley Arena last night, as his daughter had not been able to attend. I have to say that I'm not much of a fan, but hey, what the hell! So we went, his son, brother and a friend and I. The evening didn't start that well, granted that the support bands were pretty horrendous. The first proudly exclaimed that they were Australian and I spent the next half hour waiting for them to get the first plane back home. In fact, they were so bad that I left the auditorium twenty five minutes in. Quo came on at 9 pm and apparently performed a "stunning" set. Not knowing their songs didn't really help and all I could hear was one excrutiatingly loud song after another. Saying that, people were having a great time, so I know that I was pretty much alone in my negativity. I took it for about an hour until I feel the need to walk out, head throbbing and feeling myself becoming partially deaf. One of ...

The wonderful Jewish festival of Chanukah will be starting tomorrow night. More than two thousand three hundred years ago, another meglomaniac called Antiochus tried to wipe us out. The Hasmonean boys told him where to go and despite all odds, we rescued Jerusalem from his clutches. The temple was ours and Chanukah was born. Antiochus also wanted to "wipe us off the face of the earth" through trying to force us to take on his alien (Greek/Syrian) practices. Surprise surprise, he failed. Some things never change and if Ahmedinejad thinks he can succeed where so many others have failed, maybe he should stop organising moronic conferences and start researching the fate of his predecessors. Hitler didn't manage to finish us off, concentration camps and all. My Chanukah message to him and anyone else who thinks he can "wipe Israel off the face of the earth" is this - go read your history books. Happy Chanukah dear friends - as the old song goes, we will survive. We...

By Yigal Carmon, President of the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI). Today, December 14, 2006, a symposium titled "Holocaust Denial: Paving the Way to Genocide" was held at Yad Vashem in Jerusalem. MEMRI President and Founder Yigal Carmon spoke at the symposium. To view Iranian Holocaust denial clips, please click here. The following are his remarks: The persistent Holocaust denial of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad raises a vital question that needs to be addressed: What function does this denial serve in the ideology of the Iranian regime and in its strategy? The answer to this question bears cardinal importance to the future of the State of Israel. When we, at The Middle East Media Research Institute, collect and analyze the statements made by Ahmadinejad and others in the Iranian regime, we can distinguish two major goals, both of which lead to the same conclusion: the Iranian regime's Holocaust denial is not a manifestation of irrational hatred, but ...

I have sent this email to the numerous Iranian Embassies dotted around the world. "Dear Sir, My grandmother lost virtually every single member of her family in the Holocaust. I am therefore appalled to read that Iran, a country with a notable history of tolerance and acceptance of all nations should be hosting a "conference" which gives a platform to some of the most anti-semitic and racist human beings on the planet. I wish that the Holocaust had not taken place. I wish that over six million people had not simply vanished between the years of 1939 and 1945. I wish that one and half million children had been given the chance to grow up and contribute to the world, instead of being murdered - simply because they born Jewish. You are an Ambassador for your country. You have a duty to present your country in the best possible light. I therefore ask you to do everything in your power to educate yourself and your countrymen in what really happened during World War II. Go to A...

An anagram of "eleven plus two" is "twelve plus one"!

You won't be surprised to read that I'm not the only who feels disgusted by the behaviour of these so called "Jews". Have a look at this piece from the Totally Jewish website: One of the most senior members of religious anti-zionist sect Neturei Karta was this week facing total isolation from the Jewish community after attending Iran's Holocaust conference. Manchester-based Rabbi Ahron Cohen has long courted controversy as the mouthpiece of the British arm of Neturei Karta, appearing alongside controversial figures considered to be enemies of the Jewish people. But anger in Manchester reached fever pitch this week after it emerged he had visited the internationally-condemned meeting in Tehran. Indeed, feelings were running so high that the Manchester Beth Din issued a statement on Tuesday condemning Rabbi Cohen’s involvement and questioning his status as a rabbi. The statement said: "'Rabbi' Ahron Cohen has for a long time been ostracised by the vast...

The presence of "orthodox" Jews at the Tehran Holocaust Conference makes me sick to the stomach. These men are a disgrace to everything that our nation stands for and believes in and most importantly, by allying themselves with a bunch of neo-Nazis and Islamic extremists, they totally violate the memory of every single Jewish person who died in the Nazi genocide. If I ever have the misfortune to meet these ghastly pieces of shit, I will spit in their vile faces and do everything in my power to ensure that they were excluded from every single Jewish gathering that they wished to attend, including counting them in as members of a Minyan (a quorum of ten males over 13 required to make up a prayer congregation). They should be immediately ex-communicated and buried in a separate plot - if at all. For all I care, their bodies can rot in the street. They are not worthy of calling themselves members of the Jewish people. Let's kick them out!

Just to inform you that I've replaced the polls on this site with a new bunch, so please feel free to start voting afresh. The questions are randomised with the hope that you will come across a new one each time you visit (don't all rush at once as I could only think of six topics!!!) I am however particularly interested in reading your responses to the teacher-parent query.

Tali managed to come home proudly wearing the "gold sash for best behaviour and achievement" in her year group. How she managed to get this is an mystery to both Dana and myself as she hasn't exactly been deserving of such an honour at home. If anything, we should be getting this prestigious award for demonstrating remarkable patience in the face of reckless and determined adversity from our soon to be eight-year-old. Like everything in life however, when you gain you also lose. On this occasion, she swallowed one of her front incisors - hence the photograph below (and also check out the aforementioned sash).

Anti-Semites head for Iran to query Holocaust By Colin Freeman, Chief Foreign Correspondent, Sunday Telegraph President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran is to give a personal audience to a delegation of foreign academics – including Britons – attending a Teheran conference that will question whether the Holocaust took place. President Ahmadinejad will welcome delegates. The two-day "Review of the Holocaust: global vision" conference, which begins tomorrow, is expected to include more than 60 foreign researchers from 30 countries, including known anti-Semites and Holocaust deniers. Ahmadinejad has caused international outrage by describing the Holocaust as a "myth" and calling for Israel to be "wiped off the map". Despite condemnation of Teheran for hosting the conference, foreign delegates arriving in the capital have said that they are hopeful of a personal meeting with the Iranian president. Fredrick Toben, a German-born Holocaust denier who lives in Austral...

A long running bone of contention between the wife and I, revolves around our differing tastes in music. Whereas she likes keeping up with the latest bands, hits and such like, I'm very happy to stick with what I know and more importantly, like. You can put forward reasoned arguments for both camps. However, since this is my blog (!), I will simply state that, if I ever heard music in the charts that matched the musicianship and quality of the people that I like to listen to, I would readily give the new bands/singers a chance. However, when I'm humming songs by people like Lennon and McCartney, Paul Simon or Bob Dylan, these unfortunate newbies have a pretty high bar to reach. Their case has not been helped by the superlative recent offerings emanating from some of the aforementioned gentlemen. I say this, because I am currently listening to the latest Dylan production, Modern Times and without exaggerating, it's an absolute stunner. Paul Simon's recent album Surpris...

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Chanukah stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" "Oh my G_d," the woman says, "has it come to this? Give me 16 Orthodox, 22 Conservative, and 12 Reform."

(c) The Times "I don't think we're in Kensal Green anymore, Toto". There are certain things in life that just don't happen: Children will never come into a classroom in my school and sit down quietly. Vegetarians won't suddenly be swayed by a McDonalds ad to bite into that oozing cheeseburger. No-one will ever be interested in talking to the nerd who walks into the party and announces that he's just got a cracked copy of Office 2007. And Tornadoes don't suddenly appear in suburban North West London streets. Well, you wouldn't thought it would you - until it happened yesterday morning. I mean, what the hell. Where did that come from? I've heard of freak weather conditions but tornadoes in Kensal Green? Why Kensal Green? Why not the vast open spaces of Hampstead Heath? Or the flat land that consists of Norfolk? But Kensal Green??? Now, please don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against Kensal Green. It is a perfectly habit...

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On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows me everywhere" Written just below it . " I do not" Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

I've spent the most wonderful afternoon in the company of my father. He wanted to take me out for my birthday and so we went to an American Diner for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon not doing very much but chatting and basically chilling out. It's a shame we don't do this more because it was so lovely to spend the time just with him. It is afternoons like these that make our lives on earth worth all the hassle we have to put up with. For a few hours, there was nobody else to come between us - my father and I.

We've just come back from playing this murder mystery game. There were four couples and each of us took on the role of a character. I was Bo Jalais, the grape-grower and dressed up for the part (including the essential black beret). However, Dana, as Tara Misu absolutely stole the show with her ravishing outfit and frighteningly authentic Italian accent. I won't spoil events by revealing the identity of the murderer, but this really was an evening to remember. The Italian cuisine (Dana's spaghetti and meaballs) was also the perfect addition to a wonderful soiree and immense fun was had by all. The fact that this also doubled up as my birthday party made it all that more special. Mamma Mia!