All that you have is your soul (Tracy Chapman).

Sunday, 16 October 2005

The Reluctant Handyman

Yesterday morning, I was sitting in the living room when I heard a ghastly sound emanating from the kitchen. I rushed in to see water pouring through the roof, gushing over the light in the utility room.

I rushed upstairs shouting like a madman and found the bathroom sink overflowing, blocked with tissue paper. The water was seeping into the floor above the kitchen. I emptied the sink, dried up the water and hoped from the best.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, the light was making a fizzing sound. We switched if off and waited until after the end of Shabbat to sort things out. We didn’t have to wait that long. By the afternoon, one of the fuses had shorted and the situation did not look too good….

The guilty party?  Who do you think it could be?

I’ll give you a clue. She’s very short, charming and deadly. She’s also two years old.

Shira is the Queen of Mischief. She is adorable, edible and extraordinarily dangerous.

Something had to be done.

I decided that I had to put bolts on the two toilets and bathroom (let’s say that this is not the first time Mademoiselle has used these places to concoct her evil machinations) so this morning I went to the local warehouse and invested in some brass devices.

You may be surprised to read that when I was considered a career, I was never
faced with the option of either becoming a teacher or a handyman. I’d like to think that I’m a good teacher but a crap handyman and the evidence for this lies in the fact that I used my drill for the first time this year.

To cut a long story short, the bolts are up and working and I fully expect them to last about two weeks after which, I will knock on the door of my next door neighbour who is a builder and ask him to do the job properly.

As for Shira, I fear for the next bit of “fun” she decides to concoct. One thing I do know is that my drill will not see the light of day until the end of 2006.

…not if I’ve got anything to do with it.

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