The Scribbler

You may recall that I wrote a short blog last year on my return to my grandparents' flat in Antwerp after nearly thirty years. The article was picked up by Daniel E. Levinson , the editor of a very prestigious website called "The New Vilna Review". He asked me to write a piece about my visit for his site which I duly submitted to him. I'm very proud to report that the said article can now be found on the site at: The New Vilna Review . Whilst you're there, please have a look at the other articles, which represent the very best in contemporary Jewish writing. I am extraordinarily honoured to have a piece I have penned sitting there amongst such an impressive collection of writings. Thank you Daniel.

One day Benjy comes home from school, goes straight to his father and asks, "What is fornication, Dad?" He gets the answer all Jewish fathers give: "Why don't you ask your mother, Son?" So Benjy goes into the kitchen and asks his mother, "What is fornication Mom? Dad said you would know." His mother replies, "I'm busy right now Benjy, why don't you go and ask your bubbe. She will tell you." So Benjy goes upstairs to his bubbe's room, knocks on her door and shouts, "Please Bubbe, what is fornication? No one here seems to know." Bubbe says, "Come inside tatellah." She then takes him to her closet, opens the door, takes out a beautiful full-length pink, beaded evening dress and says, "This, tatellah, is foranoccasion."

Even those who aren't particularly sympathetic to Israel's Benjamin Netanyahu, could get a good measure of satisfaction from this interview with British Television this week. I guess it can be attributed to Minister Netanyahu's days studying history at Harvard. The interviewer asked him: "How come so many more Palestinians have been killed in this conflict than Israelis?" (A nasty question if there ever was one!) Netanyahu: "Are you sure that you want to start asking in that direction?" Interviewer: (Falling into the trap) Why not? Netanyahu: "Because in World War II more Germans were killed than British and Americans combined, but there is no doubt in anyone's mind that the war was caused by Germany's aggression. And in response to the German blitz on London, the British wiped out the entire city of Dresden, burning to death more German civilians than the number of people killed in Hiroshima. Moreover, I could rem...

Tali, I can't quite believe that in about half an hour, it will be the tenth anniversary of your first breath of the world you are now inhabiting. Where have those years gone? Where is the little girl I carried? You are the one visual proof that exists of my ability to father children. If I were to vanish tomorrow, everyone would still know that you are my daughter, because you carry my face on yours. Ten years Tali. Ten years and what an interesting time it's been. How have you managed to come into the world as though you'd never been anywhere else and stamped your indelible presence on it? How did you do it? How come the world hasn't quite caught up with you? What is it that ticks inside of you? How many other children would get up there in front of everybody and play the piano at a school talent show - without knowing how to play that very instrument? How many ten year olds would choose a lava lamp and radio as their birthday present? How many ten year olds would loo...

Argentina is kicking out Richard Williamson, the shmuck of a bishop who denies the Holocaust took place. Maybe Iran or Syria would like to take him in, I'm sure that he'd be a popular draw for the multitude of radical Arabs who buy his crap by the bucketload. I have an even better idea. Let Hamas take him into Gaza, so Israel can include him on their next round of targeted assassinations. He could then try explaining his pathetic ideas to the six million souls waiting to rip him apart when he goes upstairs....or in his case,whilst making his way back to the Netherworlds.

Over the last few months, you will have no doubt noticed that I have used this blog to republish articles by a number of notable writers/journalists. The point of doing this is not to appear lazy, but to give more space to others whom I believe can express my feelings in a more professional or subtle way that I could ever aspire to do. I am but a simple writer who does not pen articles for a living, unlike the venerable individuals whom I wish to promote on this site. In this spirit, I present a superb little piece by the incomparable Alan Dershowitz, which you can find here . Put Hamas, Not Israel, on Trial By Alan M. Dershowitz For the Criminal Court to work, the worst must come first. There are efforts now under way to try to bring Israel before the International Criminal Court (ICC) in The Hague on charges of alleged war crimes. Neither Israel nor the United States has signed on to this court, primarily out of fear that its power would be used against democracies that try the...

by Yair Lapid, Israeli Journalist I am a Zionist. I believe that the Jewish people established itself in the Land of Israel, albeit somewhat late. Had it listened to the alarm clock, there would have been no Holocaust, and my dead grandfather - the one I was named after - would have been able to dance a last waltz with grandma on the shores of the Yarkon River. I am a Zionist. Hebrew is the language I use to thank the Creator, and also to swear on the road. The Bible does not only contain my history, but also my geography. King Saul went to look for mules on what is today Highway 443, Jonah the Prophet boarded his ship not too far from what is today a Jaffa restaurant, and the balcony where David peeped on Bathsheba must have been bought by some oligarch by now. I am a Zionist. The first time I saw my son wearing an IDF uniform I burst into tears, I haven't missed the Independence Day torch-lighting ceremony for 20 years now, and my television was made in Korea, but I ...

PARIS, France (CNN) -- France bears responsibility for deporting Jews to their deaths in concentration camps during World War II, the country's highest court ruled Monday. Jews and foreigners are rounded up in Paris in May 1941. But, the Council of State said, "measures taken since the end of the Second World War have compensated for the damage." Northern France was directly occupied by Nazi Germany during World War II while the south of the country was ruled by the Vichy government that collaborated with Adolf Hitler. France's role in the deportation of its Jews was a taboo subject for decade...

I'm 41 years old and I still haven't worked out what it is that makes me tick. This much I can tell you about myself: My heart is in the right place. Sometimes, the right place might be the wrong place, but I hope you know what I mean. I'm a passionate person. This manifests itself through the views I hold on just about everything and the vile temper that I wish would stay bottled up. I like people. I find them fascinating, frustrating, divine and deplorable. Without people surrounding me, I am but a shadow of myself. My family is my life, even if I forget it sometimes. I love kids. Not in any sort of sexual way in case you think I'm some sort of pervert, but in the old fashioned way of loving their presence, ideas and outlook on life. Kids speak so much wisdom and sense and even through the mischief, they are able to express themselves in a way that few adults can. I think we should all remember that we were once a child. I'm mad about music. Beatles, Simon & G...

**Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,** **'Hello?'** **'Hi honey.** **This is Daddy.** **Is Mommy near the phone?'* **'No, Daddy.** **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'** **After a brief pause,** **Daddy says,** **'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'** **'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy,** **Right now.'** Brief Pause. **'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.** **Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs** **And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy** **That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'** **'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'** **A few minutes later** **The little girl comes back to the phone.** **'I did it, Daddy.'** **'And what happened, honey?' ** 'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.** **Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser** ...

I've spent the evening creating resources for my Wednesday Year 8 class whilst watching CNN's coverage of the elections. A few observations: The staff at CNN really need to get some training in how to pronounce Hebrew names and words. Some of their attempts are truly shocking. It looks like the right are winning and as a result, the Palestinians they've spoken to are quite pissed off about this. This knowledge alone has brightened up my evening. Every time the Arabs express satisfaction with the results of an Israeli election, I get worried. Watching the pathetic Mustafa Bargouti in New York calling the Israeli public "spoiled" because they've voted for right wing candidates was particularly satisfying. If that's the best word he can use to describe my people, who are using the democratic process to express their views, then I know that they've made the correct decision. There's nothing quite as wonderful as seeing a Palestinian official admitting ...

Arutz7 News IDF Chief of Staff Lt.-Gen. Gabi Ashkenazi paid a visit to the Western Wall on Sunday night to offer prayers of thanksgiving for the miracles and successes in the recent Cast Lead operation in Gaza. Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz, entrusted with rabbinical supervision of the holy sites on behalf of the government, hosted Lt.-Gen. Ashkenazi and took part in the prayers. Afterwards, a festive thanksgiving meal was held in the Hashmonaim Hall, to the left (north) of the uncovered section of the Western Wall. Additional prayers and songs of thanksgiving and praise were recited there. Lt.-Gen. Ashkenazi also prayed for the speedy return of captive soldier Gilad Shalit, who has been held in Gaza for 2.5 years. It was noted that many prayers had been recited at the Western Wall by parents, soldiers, and Jews all over during the war, and that the time had now come to express thanks for the successes the offensive had reaped. Ashkenazi stated that he was there as a representat...

It appears that Lord Ahmed has a problem with British Jews going over to Israel and fighting in the IDF . Apparently, he considers them to be "war criminals". Well, I have a confession to make, I too am a war criminal. Well, to be more exact, a wannabe war criminal. Throughout my life, I have wanted to make aliyah - to go to live in Israel. The fact that I haven't (yet) is more a testament to my refusing to leave my immediate family, than any wish to avoid living in Israel. When I was 17, I was on kibbutz and I called my folks to tell them I wasn't coming home. A telephone battle ensued with my mother which I eventually lost (as usual), because my mother convinced me to go back to the UK and finish off my studies. Not an unreasonable argument, but one that cost me the chance to get to Israel. Now, zillions of years later, I'm all ready to go but neither my wife or daughters are upstairs packing their bags. If I do make the plunge, I'll be going out there on my...

I've updated the Seeqpod playlist that you can find in the right hand column, just below the Babel Fish translation feature. It has a bit of '80s bias (my era), although I've thrown in a few golden oldies to keep things balanced. If you like to listen to music while you're browsing the site, why don't you head down there and press the play button. I must however warn you that the songs won't exactly match the gravity of some of the articles you will read as you are listening!

An Open Letter To A Citizen Of Gaza : I Am the Soldier Who Slept In Your Home By: Yishai G (reserve soldier) Hello, While the world watches the ruins in Gaza , you return to your home which remains standing. However, I am sure that it is clear to you that someone was in your home while you were away. I am that someone. I spent long hours imagining how you would react when you walked into your home. How you would feel when you understood that IDF soldiers had slept on your mattresses and used your blankets to keep warm. I knew that it would make you angry and sad and that you would feel this violation of the most intimate areas of your life by those defined as your enemies, with stinging humiliation. I am convinced that you hate me with unbridled hatred, and you do not have even the tiniest desire to hear what I have to say. At the same time, it is important for me to say the following in the hope that there is even the minutest chance that you will hear me. I s...

The kids' phone call came shortly after 06:00 and mine announced itself about an hour later. It was pretty obvious that the snow wasn't going anywhere and as far as I know, all schools in the vicinity are closed. The traffic person on LBC radio advised us to only go out if we felt like having a 5 hour journey into work. So here we are. The kids have pretty much drenched theselves in the garden, Dana is watching a DVD and I'm wondering if I'm going to get any lesson preparation done. I look out of the window and huge flurries are whisking past the window as the white blanket on the hedge gets higher and higher. It's definitely a snow day and none of us are going anywhere for the forseeable future.

I've updated the polls on this site with some new questions. Please add your vote!

We Jews have unfortunately become attuned to being at the sharp end of numerous individuals' desires to blame someone for their misfortunes. Even before we got blamed for the Palestinian problem, we were still held responsible for just about every other catastrophe that happened in the world. Jews are still being blamed by some for the death of Jesus. We were accused of spreading the Black Death in the Middle Ages and every time a child met his untimely death, this had to be as a result of our religious need to drink Christian blood or use the globules to add that special zesty taste to our matzos. The latest incarnation of Antisemitic hate has just taken place in Venezuela where Hugo Chavez, who previously blamed us for the death of Christ, has decided that Israel, the demon state that it is must be cursed at every opportunity and shock horror, we Jews are less than honourable if we don't share in his psychotic worldview (he is mates with Ahmadinejad which tells you about wh...