Skip to main content

The Sorceror's Mis-Apprentice

When I was a kid, I looked forward to the time when I would be in charge of my very own home. I would fix things when they broke, redecorate the house exactly in the style that I desired and be in total command of my life as well as lord and master of my very own home.

I didn't realise that when you get married and a wife moves in, she usually gets a say over what the house will look like. I also didn't expect to be as hopeless as I've turned out to be in the simple art of redecorating or mending. In fact, I'm not a very good housekeeper at all.

Enter the wife and her extraordinary (and hitherto unseen) powers to majestically transform one of our kids' bedrooms (the larger one that Dassi and Tali sleep in) from a squalid patch of a box into a offering that would not seem out of place in a four star hotel.

Not only has she repainted the walls, to the extent that one would think she's a proper decorator...she has now gone and (with a little help from her friends) built wall to wall cupboards for our wide eyed daughters.

Suffice to say that the kids are now sleeping in our room - which she is already eyeing up for Danafication.

OK, I made the last bit up, but I needn't have done. Dana has worked her magic and put me to shame. I guess, our childhood dreams may have been slightly different after all!

Still, at least I know how to cook a passable pasta.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ten Jewberry Muds

To get the full effect, this message should be read out loud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the FarEast Economic Review: Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees." Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service." RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??" G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs." RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?" G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine." RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?" G: "What?" RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?" G: "I don't think so."...

Magic Moments

At the end of a sunny day, Dana decided to start a water fight. She sprinkled a bit of tap water in my direction. Then her eyes lit up and she ran out of the room. I of course thought nothing of it, until she returned with a filled water pistol! That was it - The race was on to remember where I'd hidden the other three unopened packets. With pistols at the ready, the kids got in on the act and what could have been a ginormous water fight was almost immediately curtailed as Shira did not appreciate being spritzed in the face. The sheer impulsiveness of the moment was Dana all over and it's one of the things that I love so much about her. The pistols have been seized and are ready, waiting for another day when I predict we are all seriously going to have the most amazing and floodworthy water-fight. I can't wait (and neither can the kids).

Our City

Tomorrow night, we will be celebrating the thirty-ninth anniversary of the return of Jerusalem into Jewish hands. Many people around the world continue to deny the Jewish people the right to claim the city as our eternal capital. On the Temple Mount, the Arabs do what they can to destroy any evidence of our ancient presence, yet, despite their efforts, they cannot erase the basic fact that Jerusalem has, is and will always be - ours. This is not to say that the city is less important to persons of another faith. What I am stating and categorically so, is that Jerusalem is accessible to anyone who wants to worship therein, but never it let be forgotten that, at the end of the day, we, the Jewish Nation are the only people who, since time immemorial have chosen this very special place as a destination for all our prayers - she belongs to us. Every time we pray to G-d, we face towards Jerusalem. Every single Ark in every single Synagogue faces towards the city. It’s presence in our psyche...