Skip to main content

Joke

An old schoolmate, A, now living in Israel, sent me this great (and timely) joke.

A Frenchman, Texan and Israeli were flying in a Jet over the Pacific, when suddenly the engine fails. The plane makes an emergency landing on a distant island and the three are taken hostage by some cannibal tribe.

The three are brought to the chief, who explains that the inhabitants are civilised and thus willing to offer the men a final request before eating them.

The Texan asks for a big steak, lots of French fries and beer. The chief instructs one of his inferiors who instantly returns with the food. The Texan eats and is tossed into the pot.

The Frenchman asks for a case of champagne and a plate of escargot, cooked French-style. Once again, the chief instructs one of his little men and the food is brought before him. Once he finishes eating, the Frenchman is tossed into the pot.

The Chief turns to the Israeli and asks him what he wants. The Israeli answers "I want to be kicked really hard in the behind." The chief shrugs his shoulders in disbelief, asks the Israeli to turn around and kicks him hard. The Israeli turns around immediately, draws his gun and shoots the chief and all his tribesmen dead.

The Frenchman and Texan, amazed, climb out of the pot, turn to the Israeli and ask:


"If you had a weapon all this time, why didn't you do something sooner?"

The Israeli replies: "Really? And risk being accused by the UN, Europe and the US government of using excessive force in response to minimal provocation?"


Thanks A!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ten Jewberry Muds

To get the full effect, this message should be read out loud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the FarEast Economic Review: Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees." Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service." RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??" G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs." RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?" G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine." RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?" G: "What?" RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?" G: "I don't think so."...

Magic Moments

At the end of a sunny day, Dana decided to start a water fight. She sprinkled a bit of tap water in my direction. Then her eyes lit up and she ran out of the room. I of course thought nothing of it, until she returned with a filled water pistol! That was it - The race was on to remember where I'd hidden the other three unopened packets. With pistols at the ready, the kids got in on the act and what could have been a ginormous water fight was almost immediately curtailed as Shira did not appreciate being spritzed in the face. The sheer impulsiveness of the moment was Dana all over and it's one of the things that I love so much about her. The pistols have been seized and are ready, waiting for another day when I predict we are all seriously going to have the most amazing and floodworthy water-fight. I can't wait (and neither can the kids).

Our City

Tomorrow night, we will be celebrating the thirty-ninth anniversary of the return of Jerusalem into Jewish hands. Many people around the world continue to deny the Jewish people the right to claim the city as our eternal capital. On the Temple Mount, the Arabs do what they can to destroy any evidence of our ancient presence, yet, despite their efforts, they cannot erase the basic fact that Jerusalem has, is and will always be - ours. This is not to say that the city is less important to persons of another faith. What I am stating and categorically so, is that Jerusalem is accessible to anyone who wants to worship therein, but never it let be forgotten that, at the end of the day, we, the Jewish Nation are the only people who, since time immemorial have chosen this very special place as a destination for all our prayers - she belongs to us. Every time we pray to G-d, we face towards Jerusalem. Every single Ark in every single Synagogue faces towards the city. It’s presence in our psyche...